Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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