I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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