shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it glows. i had to have it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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