My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
