I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
