five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
