Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
