I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can't turn off my feet"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
