The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize