You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
