You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
