U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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