Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
