Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
