I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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