i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
