My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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