morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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