Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
