Kiss
Puke
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize