The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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