now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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