Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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