Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
