Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
