do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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