someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
