So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
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Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
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He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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