Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize