I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize