Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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