just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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