First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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