no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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