Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
