she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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