Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
