he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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