No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
