piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
