I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm always down for nudity.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
