His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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