Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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