PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
