4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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