we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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