I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize