I accidentally had phone sex last night
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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