you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I am one with the molecules
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
