This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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