What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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