Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
third nipple confirmed
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
