This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
