you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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