why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
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It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
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just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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