I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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