Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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