Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Randomize