He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
