I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
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Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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