in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
