absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
