This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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