people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
