dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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