:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
