Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?

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  (917): If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I? http://tfl.nu/azfj
  Replies (10) Good night (754) Bad night (1307)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"

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  (713): eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae" http://tfl.nu/afr2
  Replies (7) Good night (861) Bad night (3441)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.

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  (865): Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand. http://tfl.nu/3nr4
  Replies (31) Good night (5207) Bad night (735)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.

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  (920): I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too. http://tfl.nu/1n8l
  Replies (13) Good night (1065) Bad night (3637)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up

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  (586): you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up http://tfl.nu/umx5
  Replies (15) Good night (981) Bad night (4473)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.

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  (540): Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh. http://tfl.nu/suhk
  Replies (15) Good night (6151) Bad night (1102)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.

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  (504): He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life. http://tfl.nu/mz8p
  Replies (7) Good night (3644) Bad night (956)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.

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  (706): We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust. http://tfl.nu/qt9y
  Replies (6) Good night (2773) Bad night (998)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...

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  (902): we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids... http://tfl.nu/udrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1968) Bad night (1172)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.

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  (973): He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come. http://tfl.nu/tnjb
  Replies (2) Good night (2128) Bad night (1068)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.

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  (804): I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years. http://tfl.nu/h8vw
  Replies (8) Good night (2046) Bad night (823)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball

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  (917): I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball http://tfl.nu/axxp
  Replies (24) Good night (701) Bad night (2922)
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  (619): View more from California

  Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?

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  (619): Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out? http://tfl.nu/ne0t
  Replies (8) Good night (1029) Bad night (471)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.

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  (732): I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab. (848): No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've. http://tfl.nu/k222
  Replies (6) Good night (1050) Bad night (325)
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  (951): View more from California

  It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.

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  (951): It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set. http://tfl.nu/pz4i
  Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (384)

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