Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake. http://tfl.nu/1bz8
  Replies (7) Good night (2458) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  There's a dead frog in my kitchen?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen? (402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush. (402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" http://tfl.nu/9htk
  Replies (34) Good night (2064) Bad night (4616)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement http://tfl.nu/2t2h
  Replies (6) Good night (587) Bad night (3495)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited. http://tfl.nu/7k6j
  Replies (22) Good night (933) Bad night (8145)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome. http://tfl.nu/crh1
  Replies (39) Good night (1088) Bad night (5046)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy http://tfl.nu/hjxb
  Replies (31) Good night (5586) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic http://tfl.nu/5us9
  Replies (3) Good night (4061) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He told her it was international road head day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min? (303): He told her it was international road head day. http://tfl.nu/xtw8
  Replies (11) Good night (5283) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight. http://tfl.nu/vjdx
  Replies (7) Good night (1846) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees. http://tfl.nu/qho2
  Replies (10) Good night (2988) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for? (1-574): Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina. http://tfl.nu/l0nz
  Replies (18) Good night (2219) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not the worst first impression I've experienced.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face. (1-724): Not the worst first impression I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/reln
  Replies (3) Good night (678) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween. http://tfl.nu/l0yk
  Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY http://tfl.nu/578t
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (187)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION http://tfl.nu/2yk9
  Replies (4) Good night (336) Bad night (584)

Randomize