there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
