Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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