I'm lost and stupid without you.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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